A lesson in mindfulness: capture the moment or live in it?

As I reflect on all the personal growth, changes and lessons that 2018 has blessed me with, I sit down to pen my New Year’s Resolutions. While my list has some pretty standard goals on it (get back in shape, eat healthier, buy less, make more), there’s one resolution that stands out at me.

Take less pictures.

Why on earth would I want to do that? I’m the mom of a fast growing baby, I live in Japan, I need to have photos for my latest blog post, I want to share pictures of my daughter with her grandparents…the reasons to take pictures are endless! So how did this resolution end up at the top of my list?

Let me paint a picture for you.

A couple of months ago,  I made plans with my friends to venture to an English tea restaurant not too far from base. I was immediately astounded by the quaint Victorian house, the stunning view overlooking a narrow river gorge,  dramatic mountains behind us, and the cutesy picturesque teacups and teapots that were placed in front of us.

Frantically digging into my bag for my phone, I started snapping photos of everything. This place is one of the most Instagram-worthy places I’ve ever been to! Bite size mini sandwiches, three tiered dessert stands, beautiful china, not to mention I was there with some of my closest friends! We all dressed up for the occasion – English tea wasn’t an every day outing for us. This was a day to remember, and I’d have the pictures to prove it!

Wait until Instagram sees this!

We posed this way and that, teacups in hand, wait, move the scone over to the left, fix your hair, quick, everybody, smile! We snapped every possible angle of this beautiful day.

I lay in bed that night poring over all the photos we took that day, when suddenly I realized that something didn’t sit right with me. I puzzled over the different turns my day had taken, but still couldn’t pinpoint what was bothering me. Then, it clicked. 

I forgot to be present.

My whole focus had been centered around catching the perfect picture that I had forgotten the most important thing: to live in the moment. Instead of soaking in my surroundings, I’d been distracted by posting snaps to my story and positioning myself just right in a photo that would look great uploaded to social media later. And all of this for what? I contemplated this question and came up with two key answers.

1. Fear of missing the moment. Ironic, right? I’m worried I’ll forget the moment so I take a photo of it. Then I’ve lost the opportunity to enjoy the present, and it’s gone anyways. When I look back through my old photos, I don’t need 30, 50, 100 pictures from a single day. Framing a photo from a special day helps immortalize a day in my memory, but having so many pictures is unnecessary and excessive.  
2. Social media attention. People love to feed their ego on social media, to compare themselves to others, to try and get as many likes per post as possible. It’s an addiction, and I’m as guilty as anyone. We’ve known for awhile that social media is an addiction, and now there’s science backing this fact. Our brain gets a rush of dopamine when our phone pings or when we get a like on Instagram. This is how we get our daily fix.

How many other moments have I wasted?

 How many emotional connections have I missed because I’d rather have a picture instead? An important lesson was learned from my day at the tea garden, one that I have since been trying to implement in my daily life. I don’t need tons of pictures of a single day. I need to be here now.

My daughter’s baby stages are precious and fleeting. She changes, progresses and grows every day, but documenting every one of these changes just ruins the moment itself. I don’t need 1000 baby photos of my daughter’s first year of life. That’s not what she needs from me. What she needs and deserves is a mother who is fully existing in the moment with her. 

As 2018 comes to a close…

I know that this resolution will be my most challenging one to face. Being in the moment, living in the now and cultivating mindfulness – I’ve heard these expressions over and over. Now, it’s time for me to set my phone down and put these phrases into action.