On Community:
The only way to gain community and friends is through some sort of payment. Buying a membership to a gym, joining a regular yoga class – shoot, even our local book club is held at a brewery. To participate in society, please be ready to pay up.
Mother or Money:
In the book Mom Rage – the feminist anthem that moms worldwide didn’t know we needed, the author says: “Mother or Money” – either the mom needs to be on board doing mom things all the time OR you need to be spending a whole lot of money to keep the family unit well-greased and running. The choice is binary: dedicate yourself entirely to the role of a mother or invest substantially in the financial machinery that keeps the family afloat.
The Nuclear Family Unit:
As a participant in American society, please know that you are expected to be a single family unit! You are expected to meet all needs in house (or just pay somebody to do it, of course. Thank God for capitalism!) There is no village raising your kids. If you want a village, you need to put in some serious work to create that. Might I suggest joining a church?
Dual Income Family:
We highly recommend being a dual income family (for survival purposes)! Being happy costs money, didn’t you know? You and your partner will be spending next to no time together, oh and also your kids will be separated from you all the time. You have to send them to public schools to give yourself time to work, obviously. Send them off with thoughts and prayers and keep your fingers crossed for their safety! They *should* be okay!
Your Tax Dollars Are Working Hard:
Don’t worry, we’re making sure the whole world is safe! I hope you’re okay drowning in student loans, looming mental health crisis, mass shootings, and worrying about the climate crisis. We have some important wars to go fight overseas though. You’ll be okay!
Capitalism is King:
There’s nothing more important than money. Everything that will relieve your stress costs a whole lot of money 🙂 Better get to work! Our society isn’t designed to support moms and families – it is designed to put pressure on moms (and hence the whole family) until we’re at the breaking point. But this is actually good news! It helps feed the economy when you get sick, when your mental health is bad you’ll hire a therapist, you can always go get a massage which also costs money, and you’ll spend whatever’s left of your paycheck on wine! Support mommy wine culture! Support your local economy!
Your Happiness Just Isn’t That Important:
So sorry, but this is just the price of freedom!
